“Nice” parents

One of my ongoing challenges and something I try to impart to my kids is the balance between accepting yourself and holding yourself to a higher standard. That is: I’m pretty lovable, and I can do better. When the urge toward improvement comes from a place of generosity and responsibility (wanting to to put more goodness into the world) rather than a place of scolding (I suck and need to whip myself into shape), good things happen.
Asha Dornfest “Must we be “nice” parents?”

Good advice for parents, but perhaps also relevant to all of us—kids, adults, parents, teachers, friends, siblings, anyone really. Even as individuals there is a challenge to find a balance between accepting and striving. I like the heuristic of generosity and responsibility over scolding and can see how it would be an excellent guild for parents and teachers but wonder if it can work for self-motivation too. As adults we have already internalized the patterns of our parents, teachers and mentors. Switching an established internal pattern can be difficult, perhaps impossible.

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~ by severalfourmany on November 5, 2012.

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